Who’s responsible? Surely someone has to be. So who is going to take the blame?
It’s a cause and affect world and the choices of one person often hurt another. I’m sure you’ve had 
your share of difficulty and I don’t want to make light of that. While there should be just consequence for wrongdoing, your personal growth will be stunted if you choose to participate in the “blame game.”
You cannot control the actions of others but you always have the power to choose your own responses to them. You don’t have to be a victim.
Life is often like walking a tightrope. There are two sides of the abyss into which you can fall.
On the one side is the denial of any personal responsibility. This is the propensity to blame anybody or anything; to find an excuse for being who you are and where you are in life.
On the other side is the tendency to internalize your frustration and anger in the form of condemning shame and guilt.
Each of us need to ask ourselves that good old Dr. Phil question in regards to both of these scenarios. “How’s that working for you?” My experience is that blame, shame or condemnation never make our lives any better.
Taking personal responsibility for your life does NOT mean that you are shouldering self-imposed judgment for your situation. NEITHER does it mean that you accept the guilt that others try to heap on you.
It DOES involve a willingness to acknowledge where you are in life and to take responsibility for your own forward progress. It requires opening your heart to the truth that God and others might need to share with you, even if that truth is painful.
When your heart tells you that you’ve been shortsighted or wrong it means asking for and receive forgiveness. It also means making amends if necessary. Where wronged, you should hold others accountable, without harboring judgment. Free yourself by allowing God to be their judge. Believe me. He’ll do a much better job!
Take a courageous look in the mirror. Will you accept responsibility in the areas where you’ve you’ve stopped growing? If you’ve hit a wall or walked in circles will you be brave enough to prayerfully look inside to understand why?
The one power that we all possess is the awesome power of choice. With every choice that we make comes both cost and reward.
Where we’ve stopped growing it’s because we’ve valued certain rewards more than the pain and effort it would take to break through. For instance we might value the attention we get from others more than what’s on the other side of our barrier.
If we are wise however we should also evaluate the cost of continuing down this path. What rewards are we forfeiting by hanging onto this need for attention?
Here are three tips you can practice that will accelerate your ability to advance in your life.
- Make it a new day – Make a proactive decision to break free and to move on. Make a personal declaration that you will not allow any person or thing to limit your purpose or destiny. Let go of blame, shame and condemning guilt. Receive forgiveness where needed. Decide to let God be the judge of others. Accept personal responsibility for your life.
- Plan for tomorrow – Make a road map for your life. Start by making an honest evaluation of where you are. Ask trusted confidants be be truthful in sharing helpful insights and be open to their input. Prayerfully determine where you want to be and plot a reasonable course of action to get you there. Make sure your goals are S.M.A.R.T. (click here for more) and commit to follow them with diligence and intentionality.
- Create an environment for success – None of us live life perfectly so it’s important to create forward momentum. Progressively choose a lifestyle that breeds the habits of personal responsibility. Begin to replace the areas where you recognize blame, shame and condemnation with responsible and healthy habits. Strategically remove the influences from your life that would reinforce your self-limiting behaviors. Weigh the cost and rewards of the entertainment, friendships and activities in which you engage.
Always remember that failing to choose is, in itself a choice. Don’t surrender your personal power to the people or circumstance around you. Find the courage to take personal responsibility and begin making choices to build your future today! Blessings…R.P.P.
Randall Paul Pipes is a life development specialist helping people
discover and develop God’s unique purpose for their lives through
coaching, seminars, public speaking and resources. Visit him at www.lifepurposetips.com or contact him at randall_paul@lifepurposetips.com.
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Thank you! R.P.P.
